My dad was an angry manand hated to be reminded that he was only a foreman after so many years. He hadtried to work his way into a management position but had got out-maneuvered bysome other guy. “Yeah, woman, so you keep reminding me…aw shut up, listen(where’s the damn bottle opener!) His k*d is some sort of slicked-up, porschedrivin’ spoiled college brat who’s determined to ‘make the company better, orsomething, or…hell I don’t know! Anyway, he’s coming over this evening, so Iwant this place, and you, and Mary-Jane cleaned up!” Ron was indeed a “Porsche-drivin” guy. He parked with one wheel on thegrass. He was wearing a white shirt and tie and looked like a linebacker. Hefilled his shirt pretty good. I was pulling on my best sweater. Mom even toldme to wear my good bra. I don’t know why, he’s not going to look under myshirt. I told mama this and she lightly tapped my cheek and told me. Apparently, this new app pairs you with someone who matches your specific sexual needs and desires. Even if you don't know what they are yourself. Yeah, right. But let's face it, my few forays into the world of getting naked with a partner were nothing to write about. The relationships lasted about as long as the intercourse."We're just not compatible." I didn't really find it very satisfying."Or, my personal favourite, "I enjoyed it more when you stopped."Maybe I haven't met the right woman, maybe I need to play the field — as my friends recommend — or maybe I need to figure out what it is that I enjoy. I'll be honest. I wasn't that into it with my previous, ahem, lovers, either. Don't get me wrong, I get horny. Very much so, but not at what people have coined 'vanilla' sex. It's pretty random.The other day, I was sitting in traffic, sweating in the ridiculous heat. A girl was walking along the pavement. Not what you'd call stunning, just an average girl. She was wearing a flowery.
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